September 22nd's Crispy and Crunchy Vspot

by B Condon 3:19 PM

Cleaning out my soul about a week ago from blog posts two days in a row, I am back after a half week in my hometown enjoying a grandkid "shot"-a-long of 80s and 90s hits through the liquor cabinet (not kidding) and buying a kickass bag, picture below for 15 bucks. Looks like my hometown has some taste I never knew it had! But now back to the important cultural stuff... 

Milk and Eggs

As shocking as this is to some people, I do not get crushes on girls on a face-to-face value. But upon seeing Jordan Sellergren (otherwise known as Milk and Eggs) at Public Space 1 the first time, I'll tell you, MAJOR girl crush. She's somewhere between Emmylou Harris and Joanna Newsom.I definitely detect Newsom in the gentleness of her vocals that sounded perfect with KRUI's sound system.

Thankful for all non-locals, her newest album is streamable here but careful, some of the songs may get trapped in your head badly.

Did I mention I felt like I was blushing for most of her half hour?

New Florence and the Machine

Was I the only one who made this immediate connection?

From a woman who is amazing to a woman who I wish  could be... Florence Welch or it seems like lately Generation Y's own Stevie Nicks (yes I just went there). The Machine is back up and running as of Halloween, the day "Ceremonials" comes out. "What the Water Gave Me" was like something a Gothic Polyphonic Spree, now the latest from the red-headed piece of perfection is "Shake It Out" which has a category all on its own. Album cover and track list already has been leaked and this looks so promising I think I just died of a squeeattack. Doesn't the cover make her look like a Dante Gabriel Rossetti's painting?

Someone Needs Correspondence Letter Lessons... American Apparel vs. Nancy Upton

The winner is Upton! But instead of getting the last laugh like she had hoped, or perhaps did despite American Apparel's Creative Director Iris Alonzo's mild passive aggressive statements in an open letter she sent to Upton congratulating her on the win but also spent many paragraphs elaborating an apology that was never actually there.

"It’s a shame that your project attempts to discredit the positive intentions of our challenge based on your personal distaste for our use of light-hearted language, and that “bootylicous” was too much for you to handle. While we may be a bit TOO inspired by Beyoncé, and do have a tendency to occasionally go pun-crazy, we try not to take ourselves too seriously around here."

Well thank you, Alonzo, (we think) but the point of Upton taking those pictures for her tumblr was showing the sad truth that anyone with a size bigger than 12 is going to be shunned and taken in by Lane Bryant (who probably has less slutty clothes than what you have) before getting a modeling gig with American Apparel. It's not about weight or size as it is the actual positioning and shrinking the female model to make her look smaller to the camera. Either way, she's going to be marketed as a little smaller than the "average" woman which is normal in the fashion world. (Although I do commend Kaela Humphries for walking during fashion week for Richie Rich and Svedka)  Do I have room to talk? I think so, as being a previous large girl. Upton, keep taking those pictures.

Open letter here

Emmy the Great Melts Faces Once More

 There are three singers/bands who I consistently quote on my FB wall on a daily basis: Stars, Charlotte Martin and Emmy the Great. Emmy is once more quotable in her latest video of "Paper Forest (In the Afterglow of the Rapture) sings as she observes an older woman in her daily grief, "But I'm blessed - just to be, more or less - standing in the afterglow of rapture with the words the rapture left." You just want to hug her if you know where the lyrics from "Virtue" came from -- her husband leaving her for the church. Emma, you're wonderful!

SHARAA! (in best Ozzy impression)

Just in time for fall, the resident vocal hot chocolate of my mp3 player (Josh Groban would be a dark chocolate mocha) is unleashing a new album, Shara Worden or better known by her project name My Brightest Diamond. But her new album is considered as an experiment as she explains, "This next record I completely gave up the rock and just decided to make acoustic music and so I really focused on the chamber ensemble as a center piece rather than being as the icing on the cake. I really wanted to build the music from the ensemble as the basis for it." The first single, Be Brave, is deeply theatrical and almost bat-shit crazy (if not for the masks and makeup in the video) so it's as if she's never left my ear buds. "All Things Will Unwind" is due to be released October 19th. Free download here.

Listen to Austra's "Identity" While Reading the Next Post

To another chocolate-toned vocalist with a great operatic tone, Katie Stelmanis, doesn't completely annoy me with her overt message of the latest from the Canada Electronic band Austra. The B-side to their latest single, "Spellwork," is another piece of haunting majesty that seems to be Austra's schtick as Stelmanis sings "Strangers don't know me but love to control me." This is a perfection segue to the next and final criteria.

Chaz Bono Dances Way Into Prime Time Hearts

All of you may remember my initial twitter angst when it was announced that rock royalty's son Chaz Bono would be on Dancing With the Stars, but trans-education has to start somewhere, right? And despite my anti-ABC prime time, I cannot tear my eyes away as it started this week. The channel was left on as I was cleaning my purse out and he came on, limbs a little scattered, but it was decently well done for the first week. He has his Dad's cheerful ambiance and smile, and his mother's sense of rhythm and grace. Hate to break it to you original-Hairspray lovers who think Ricki Lake will win. It's Chaz's year.

Or at least for Cher and the LGBT enthusiasts, ABC has employed extra security just in case the naysayers may do something to the loveable Bono. But it's anyone's guess if something will actually happen. But not all conservatives are freaking out that Chaz Bono may "damage the younger generations" by being on the dancing reality show just for simply for once being a female. This is what the trans community calls cis-phobia, and even to a conservative journalist Douglas MacKinnon this is cis-phobia with Keith Ablow of FOX News at its finest.

Even if Chaz wouldn't win, I think he would be perfection at second or third, just to know that we have come this far to have Carson Kressley (of all the men in queedom) to be on the show. And after the Emmy's tolerance of  Lesbian host Jane Lynch, a win for the plus-size Melissa McCarthy (yeah girl!) and for Game of Thrones's little nugget Peter Dinklage and the Modern Family sweep that involves a gay-married couple. You would think the way prime-time TV is going that Bono would get good reception, which he will in the weeks to pass.