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8:16 PM
Nailed it.
From Tina impersonating Barkhad Abdi ("I am the Captain now.") to Amy Poehler using Jennifer Lawrence as a stand-in for herself when bringing up her own Globes nomination, this year's Golden Globes started out with a bang. And like Glamour Magazine tweeted, "And for the 2nd year in a row, Tina and Amy made fun of everyone to perfection yet no one got offended. They are perfect" there is no better way to describe the opening monologue. They were perfect. And I'm also guessing the Somalian pirates will definitely take Tina's come-on to come up to her hotel room.
- (to side camera) "Scandal!" - Amy and Tina
- "Everyone, sleep with your limo driver before he gets famous." - Amy Poehler
- "He [Matthew McConaughey] had to lose 45 pounds for this movie or as actresses call it: being in a movie." - Tina Fey
- Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in sunglasses and fake cigar sitting on the "movie" side of the room getting heckled by her fellow TV comic actresses. (note she was sitting with Reese Witherspoon! Badass.)
"Now it's time for the president's speech, or for those at home, a bathroom break." - Hollywood Foreign Press President, Theo Kingma
Damn.
Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
[Winning over Lupita Nyong'o for 12 Years a Slave AND Julia Roberts for August: Osage County]
Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
[Winning over James Spader for The Blacklist]Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical
Amy Adams, American Hustle
[Winning over Meryl Streep for August: Osage County, really... OVER MERYL?]
Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama
Robin Wright, House of Cards
[Winning over Tatiana Maslany for Orphan Black. SERIOUSLY??! Hey Princess Buttercup, can you play 7 clones at the same time in the same scene?]
Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical
Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine Nine (Mr. Joanna Newsom)
[Winning over Jim Parsons for The Big Bang Theory]
Best TV Series, Comedy
Brooklyn Nine Nine
[Winning over The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family and Parks and Recreation]
The Point When I Dance
Around my Apartment
Best Supporting Actor in a Drama
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyer's Club
Actor in Mini Series or TV Movie
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
The Best Tweets
Who wants to be in charge of cropping the Emma Thompson shoes and drink screenshot we will all be using as our profile picture tomorrow?
6 years off from acting, and Jared Leto's eyes are still deep blue pools filled with our hopes and dreams. #GoldenGlobes
Obviously we have to update our best hair and makeup poll to include Alex Ebert. #GoldenGlobes
Tina & Amy took the tiller of the glorious garbage scow that is the #GoldenGlobes & sailed it to Atlantis. That is all. Good night.
The Best Little Moments
"Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow." - P. Diddy
"In the name of gender equality, I like to introduce my son from another marriage, Mr. Golden Globe." - Tina Fey, following Amy Poehler dressed up as a little boy asking if Idris Elba is "his" father.
"Like my mother said, go to hell and don't come back." - Jacqueline Bisset
"Yeah, bitch!" - Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad) winning Best TV Series, Drama
Everything that came out of Robert Downey Jr.'s mouth.
"Acting is hard. That's what a very wise Shia LeBeouf once said." - Jim Carrey"Oh, look who's back in the TV section, hi Julia!" - Amy Poehler
"The only reason you're not here is because I wore more sequins." - Michael Douglas to Matt Damon, winning for Behind the Candelabra
"I love you and there's a special place in hell for you." - Tina to Amy on winning.
Diane Keaton singing during Woody Allen's honorary award. <3
"Like a supermodel's warm vagina, let's all welcome Leonardo DiCaprio." - Tina Fey
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