All the "N.P.H."

Pretty much all of this. All. Of. This.

" "American Sniper" alone is responsible for over $300 million of that. So congratulations to them. To put that in perspective, everyone on this side of the theater  is the 7 other nominees and American Sniper is Oprah."

"Tonight on this stage we have come together to celebrate and hopefully fall in love with moving pictures all over again. OK, maybe not "Smurfs 2.""

"An actor [Channing Tatum] who is as appealing playing a male stripper as he is playing a wrestler in a onesie. He's the real deal, pants down. Hands down. Did I say pants? I meant pants. "

[on Dana Perry's pom pom dress] 
"I like that dress, it takes a lot of balls to wear a dress like that."

[After coming on stage in his underwear via "Birdman"]
"After that last entrance, I am a changed man"

"In "A Million and One Ways How to Die in the West," I pooped in a hat."

"Benedict Cumberbatch is not only the best name in show business, it's also the response when you ask John Travolta to pronounce Ben Affleck."

"The original title for "Gone Girl" was "Bitches Be Trippin', Yo!"

The Best Moments


"To every woman who gave birth, to every citizen and taxpayer, it’s our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women of the United States of America!" - Patricia Arquette

and Meryl's response....

[Describing five actresses in Best Supporting Role as four actresses and...] "In accordance to California state law, Meryl Streep" - Jared Leto




[on "Birdman" director, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu] 
"Who gave this son of a bitch a green card?" - Sean Penn

The Best Wins

Best Supporting Actor: 
J.K Simmons (Whiplash)

Best Foreign Language Film: 
Ida [Poland]

Best Supporting Actress: 
Patricia Arquette (Boyhood)

Best Actor in a Leading Role: 
Eddie Redmayne (Theory of Everything)

Best Actress in a Leading Role: 
Julianne Moore (Still Alice)

The Best Tweets

After that Sound of Music/Julie Andrews moment, I think I need to go lie down. in the fetal position.

If Jared Leto doesn't walk away from this Oscars with a Garnier Fructis commercial then life has failed him.

Um... is Completely Unarguably Nailing it. Sorry. I know I supposed to be snarky, But that's what's happening

Julie Andrews: the only human being that can nail the correct pronunciation of Budapest.

. has a switch on the small of his neck. It goes to "Likable" or "More Likable."

Idris is so goddamned handsome. Did I just Tweet that? I dunno. Fuck you. Shut up.

When a director/producer just needs someone 2 shake their head sarcastically 2 the camera, do they immediately think Questlove?

I love that all of Hollywood laughed when Patricia Arquette mentioned taxes.

Those two empty seats next to Leto are for me and our shared-custody cat, Noodles.

Maybe the doormen have some off stage water bottles to take care of their business during commercial breaks?

Chloe Grace Moretz has on a dress with pockets. That's how millennials roll.

The would have crushed that opening number

Where's the Oscar for John Travoltas wig?
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retweets21 favorites
 
Anna Kendrick in Thakoon

Rosamund Pike  
Rita Ora in Marchesa
Anna Faris in Zuhair Murad
Jennifer Hudson in Romona Keveza
Jennifer Aniston in Versace

Kissing, that human mating dance that can literally sniff out if the second person of any gender is deemable a suitable mate to the first person. Sometimes it's a release of emotions or it's a proclamation of love or just simply foreplay. But thanks to the New York Times, they have inspired me to really think about my top 10 favorite kisses in cinema and what better time to put this out than before Lupercalia, I mean, the Western World's Valentine's Day? Here are my top 10 most memorable movie kisses and I do not discriminate! 


Aaron Davis (Steve Sandvoss) and Christian Markelli (Wes Ramsey) 
in Latter Days (2003)


We all know I love my gay romantic comedies, but this one, including the fantastic Joseph Gordon Levitt, never disappoints me. To sum up "Latter Days" in a sentence: Mormon Salesman goes to Los Angeles and finds himself attracted to the biggest playboy who may or may not be falling for him over time considering the bet he made with a friend to take one of the Mormon boys to bed. Maybe it's the intensity Christian (Wes Ramsey) gives off that makes that first kiss so powerful which ends up making my knees weak. It seems boy on boy make outs are much more beautiful to me than any other gender combination.



Jane Falberry (Judy Garland) and Joe D. Ross (Gene Kelly)
in Summer Stock (1950)


Their names say it all. Gene Kelly, who Judy Garland once dubbed her favorite leading man to kiss and well, Judy f***ing Garland. In "Summerstock," Jane's (Garland) family farm is in crisis and it only "seems to get better" when her sister comes back with a whole theater troupe in tow including her boyfriend and troupe leader, Joe Ross (Kelly). It's all chemistry between Joe and Jane until it finally accumulates after Joe sets the scene that Jane can do the show just as well as her sister could including a very romantic serenade of "You Wonderful You." 



Lukas (Rick Okon) and Fabio (Maximillian Befort) 
in Romeos [Romeos... anders als du denkst!] (2011)


In the German-made "Romeos," Lukas (Rick Okon) is finally taking on the transition from male to female and it's all erratic hormones and v-logs of his progress. But Fabio (ugh, I know, that name!) (Maximillian Befort) comes into his life and Lukas finds himself completely enamored but the question remains: is it better that he tells Fabio that he is in transition or let him simply see him as male? The movie is mostly awkward and full of violent empathy over of how much Lukas is struggling, but it doesn't stop the puppy dog obsession with Fabio. But the payoff? Oh, the payoff! If there was ever a sexy-sweet award for a kiss, "Romeos" wins hands down!

I apologize for the video, but the kiss starts at 3:17, the song isn't bad though!



Margeurite (Greta Garbo) and Armand (Robert Taylor)
in Camille (1936)


Some of the picks for my memorable kisses are purely based on one scene or the build up throughout the movie, but choices like "Notorious" and "Camille" are just consistently knee cap melting! The 1936 MGM production is based on a great book (in fact, one of my favorites) by Alexandre Dumas, fils 's although in the movie, the courtesan Marguerite is more in her mid-20s than the original age of 16. But it's Greta f***ing Garbo and she can do whatever she wants, including that amazing piano scene with film great Henry Daniell but I digress. Marguerite is slowly dying of consumption, but trying her best to keep her finances afloat by making "friends" with as many men as possible. But the "Lady of the Camellias" (hence "Camille" if you were wondering...) as she is known never expected to fall in love with the naive Armand who just wants to take care of her but it's more complicated than that. In a style that is purely 30's MGM and Cukor, the kissing scenes feel otherworldly at least for people who find these old movies a hobby. 




Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal)
in Brokeback Mountain (2005)


"Brokeback Mountain"'s kisses are like a box of bottlecaps: you seriously can't pick just one! Maybe it's that first kiss before Ennis (Heath Ledger) goes into having sex with a man more consciously or maybe it's that reunion kiss where Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) is pressed against the wall or one of the more dramatic kisses before all goes to hell at the end. No, it's definitely the first kiss in the slight and shockingly real resistance of Ennis pulling back but eventually giving in. Maybe it's more beautiful like that instead of the whole gay cowboy jokes. 




Veronica Fisher (Judy Garland) and Andrew Larkin (Van Johnson)
in In the Good Old Summertime (1949)


Much in the tradition of the movie before them ("The Shop Around the Corner") this is the part where the man (Van Johnson as Andrew Larkin) finally reveals that they've been writing letters to each other for the past year and that he is in love with Garland's Veronica. And oh the results as he speaks those adapted lines from the 1940s Frank Capra film! Although James Stewart spoke them straight with a beautiful romantic intensity, Johnson does one better as he is directed to incorporate the whole room as he backs her underneath the Christmas tree mocking the imaginary man that Veronica thought she was writing letters to. And the touching of her hair and kissing her temple just, ugh! Why can't they make beautiful choreographed kisses like that nowadays?

[starting at 3:54-5:28]



Astree (Stephanie Crayencour) and Celadon (Andy Gillet)
in The Romance of Astrea and Celadon (2008)


The last film from the great French director and writer Eric Rohmer, the period comedy "The Romance of Astrea and Celadon" does more than just represent two lovers breaking up to only fatefully come back together. It is about building a person into the best version of themselves. Adapted from a collection of serials from the 1600s by Honore d'Urfe, the kiss at the end after spending years apart is just a huge relief. The passionate "mini-make out" between Stephanie Crayencour and Andy Gillet is, believe me, a huge relief and a beautiful way to finish a very arbitrary stylistic movie. 



Alicia Huberman (Ingrid Bergman) and Devlin (Cary Grant)
in Notorious (1946)


Who knew that Hitchcock could direct romantic scenes so well? The chemistry between Bergman's Alicia and Grant's Devlin is so electric that even the great Claude Rains's presence is almost upstaged! Bergman plays Alicia Huberman, a party girl and daughter of a German convict, ends up being roped into becoming a spy. She watches over her father's Nazi friends who are stationed in Rio de Janeiro while falling helplessly in love with the government agent (Grant) she works with. Alicia finds herself married to Alexander Sebastian (Claude Rains) and struggling to play both sides of the very dangerous spy game. But those kisses between Bergman and Grant, I just, there are no words! They are romantic yet sexually fueled and even the final scene as they walk down that staircase you know it's love, but somehow you feel really bad for Claude Rains! Only Hitchcock. Only Hitch. 




Diane (Juno Temple) and Jack (Riley Keough)
in Jack and Diane (2012)


I understand this movie is very misunderstood, but there is nothing better than a layered kiss. After just a few hours of knowing each other and trying to figure each other out, Jack (Riley Keough) finally kisses Diane (Juno Temple) and much like their relationship throughout the movie, the kiss seems to progress. What starts out curious and kind of fascinated ends up becoming passionate but ends up creating a symbolic monster (not a werewolf, people!) that is a relationship or a tie from one person to another that you can't get rid of.



Marnie Edgar (Tippi Hedren) and Mark Rutland (Sean Connery)
in Marnie (1964)


Only Hitch. Only Hitch could get past the censors in "Notorious" creating a series of small kisses throughout a scene exceeding the Hayes Office's required three seconds. Only Hitch could zoom into a very intimate kiss between his ingenue and Sean Connery with no subjective intent, but you feel uncomfortable and yet fascinated all at once. After Marnie, a psychologically messed up thief and liar, is caught trying to break into a safe at her work by her boss Mark Rutland (Connery). Before getting fired, she finds herself having a psychotic break and the boss ends up comforting her, but it is he who is kissing her more than she is. Who wouldn't want James Bond to kiss down their faces? Oh, well, me but that's a completely different story.

[starts at :53-1:10]